I get to thinkin’ every morning as I crawl out of bed
Why am I feeling so old
The first thing on is my hat on my head
Roll a smoke and cough, like I had a cold

Spray WD-40 on my knees, so that they will bend
Look for my glasses, so my eyeballs can see
Take another drag of PA, so I can get my second wind
Thinking that this just can't be me

My teeth spent the night soakin’ in a cup of Efferdent
All sparklin’ clean and ready for another trip
Why, they look real, not even a hint
Thank God for Poligrip

Well, it’s another day, wonder where yesterday went
I need that cup of coffee
Kind of like money, I guess it was spent
One more cup of coffee, think then I can see

All them fast women slowed me down right smart
Not ready for the Viagra pasture yet
But they can do a wreck on a feller's heart
But they were part of it, I will sure bet

Well, time to make another circle before the sun goes down
Why am I old, and what went wrong
Maybe I am not, just a-living in a town
Or maybe, Hell I stayed young too darn long