Well, today I went an’ bought me one of them fancy eight dollar haircuts

The old wool on my neck was a getting’ shaggy, just all over the place

I was as ugly as an old pig’s butt

I was a needin’ that hair to cover my face.

Now, where I go to get my locks trimmed is close by

Usually by a big-chested senorita that sure is sweet, can’t remember her name

I can always remember her chest, wonder why

One on the right, one on the left, Hell, one and the same.

Now, the old hair chopper I got today, he was hung over and mad

Said that he got in an old fight with Jim Beam last night

He went to choppin’ on my locks, made me look damn sad

When he was done, looked in his mirror, what a fright.

I paid my eight dollars and ran like Hell out of there

I just pull my cowboy hat down around my neck

It was a cowboy’s bad hair day, I don’t have a prayer

Maybe one of these days, that old hair chopper will put a noose around his neck.