If a seed grows up side down, it probably won't make a very tall tree.
The truth wonít stay in jail very long.
A lie is the truth's jailer.
It may be Godly, but not smart, to baptize a bobcat.
A Hilary Clinton Bucket...some small breasts and fat thighs, with a bunch of little left wings.
Don't stand behind a jackass if you want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Insanity is just sanity's next door neighbor.
A mule is just a slow ride to Hell
The President is who the other guy voted for.
If Perry Mason were practicing law today, heíd stave to death.
Ex-wives are what got George Strait to Amarillo by morning.
Itís hard to help the homeless Ė theyíre never home.
If a dog is barking at you, heís not biting you. If a dog is biting you, then heís not barking at you.
If I remembered where I left it, then Iíd know where it was at.
Oogledy Goofed- up side down, inside out and all screwed up
Catty Wampus- a little off to the right but itíll hold water.
Owl Headed.....a horse that should have been a mule.
Left Headed....not thinking right
Cell Phone- what crash test dummies talk to each other on while driving
What happens if the eye of the beholder goes blind?
Minnie Pearl once said, " If beauty is only skin deep, God, I hope they don't skin me."
A mule canít have much horse sense if his Daddy was a jackass.
God made horses so cowboys wouldnít have to walk.
Common sense sometimes confuses intelligent people.
Itís better to think slow, than make mistakes fast.
How well do rats run in a People race?
Progress can sometimes be a hemorrhoid to Mother Nature.
Never make the cook mad and keep a close watch on your mother-in-law.
How can you have the best of both worlds and have both feet on the same ground?
How can an island in the middle of the ocean have fresh water, when itís surrounded by a world of salt water?
Sticking to your guns is fine, if you don't get shot in the back.
The truth will out, when a lie will leave.
You canít learn common sense from any book.
A rich gunfighter will not charge by the gunfight, but by the bullets that were shot.
If youíre cross-eyed, you can still see straight if you turn your head right,
If you gut a snow bird, then you ainít going to have much of a bird left
Would you rather have a good bird cooked bad, or a bad bird cooked good
When the buzzards circle above you, you had better pray for a flock of angels
The trail that you ride in life, that is the trip it will take you on
When evil folks don't agree with you, you just need to show them your better side
My way is not always right, but, by God, prove me wrong
If you dance with the Devil, then you have to pay his fiddler for the tune you danced to
If you get in trouble in Heaven, then go to God, Ďcause there ainít no lawyers there
Cowboys wear an old cowboy hat and on that last ride hope to trade it in on a halo
Words of wisdom will never be found in the fine print
Getting to the bottom of something rotten doesnít mean that you have to dig your own grave
If God has gray hair, I guess it is because of what we have all done at one time or another
If you cannot thank God, well we all know who you will thank
The day that we are not, " ONE NATION UNDER GOD" , that is the day that we will perish
Our Liberty Bell is cracked, that is true, but, by God she can still ring in a voice that we all need to hear
God still loves you, even though you say that you are offended by him as you know who you are
9/11/01 was a wakeup call for us. Don't make God send down that many angels again for those that did not need to die
A good sense of humor is the best protection for you, in an insane world
The evil ones will accuse you of what they are guilty of, just to see if you will weaken
Old cowboys and cowgirls never really die, they just move on to a better pasture
A blind man can hear things that you and I will never see
When the smart ones try to outsmart God, He always has a way to put them in their place
A high-profile lawyer is just whale doo-doo that hasn't hit the ocean floor yet
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